He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What a dumb baby whore.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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