I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
