Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
