Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
