i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
