and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
