We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
