i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
