Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
