I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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