I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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