It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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