Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
