Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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