I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
