I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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