At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize