that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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