Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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