After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
