Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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