I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
