You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
