just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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