this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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