just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize