I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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