I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
