what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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