What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
