And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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