the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
