Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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