Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
