i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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