bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
