please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
