Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
