you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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