he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize