It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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