Pass out mid-funnel last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
