I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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