Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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