never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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