Moan for me like Helen Keller
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You took a bar mat shot.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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