she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
