She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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