he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
