I feel like I'm in dance class right now
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
