I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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