I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wish life had little blips of pornography
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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