I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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