Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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