I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
