this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
