wat bout pragnant strippers??
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
