Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
