we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
