Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
