Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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