wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
