Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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