My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
