I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
